Beter goed gejat dan slecht verzonnen

That’s Dutch, and it basically means that a good rip-off is better than a piece of crap you came up with all  by yourself.

I half-watched Dead Silence last night, and wow. That’s an hour and a half of my life that I’m never getting back. 

It is, without a doubt, the worst horror movie I’ve ever seen. Obviously it wasn’t scary (horror movies hardly ever are), but it wasn’t even entertainingly bad. It was just… bad. Period.

This is impressive, considering what they’d borrowed from. The theme tune was a very slight variation on Mike Oldfield’s Tubular Bells (ohai Exorcist), it was about evil ventriloquist dummies (the whole ‘evil doll’ thing has been done to death in such movies as Chuckie and the copious sequels), it was set in a creepy small town (that’s just a cliché), and the main monster was an Evil Old Woman. There was also an Estranged Father, complete with Younger Trophy Wife. Oh, and there was a senile old woman who knew more than she was able to let on, just for good measure. At least there was no Magical Black Person, that would have been too much for me to take. But there was a Cynical Cop, who ends up dead (shocker!).

There was one cool twist at the end of the movie, but I’m going to tell you what it is because well, it’ll save you watching the first hour and a half: it turns out the father was dead the whole time, and he’d been hollowed out and used as a dummy by his younger wife. You got a really cool shot of the hollowed-out ribcage and her hand in there, working the levers. 

It was so cool that it almost redeemed the utter inanity of it all, but then it turned out that the wife was possessed by the Evil Old Lady, thus completely ruining it. 

I’m just baffled as to how someone can steal elements from horror movies that actually work, and then manage to bugger it all up.

Anyway, whatever you do, don’t watch this movie. It’s awful in every way.


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3 responses to “Beter goed gejat dan slecht verzonnen

  1. Matthew

    Maar het heeft Will Smith daarin!

  2. Leah

    It never fails to throw me when a person who doesn’t usually speak Dutch suddenly does. It took me a few seconds to figure this out 😀

  3. Matthew

    Droevig. Ik wilde niet u verwarren.

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